Coming out of the Darkness

It's been a while since I've written a blog post, in fact it's been a while since I've focused on anything not mom related. Since we've last chatted, we welcomed our second child into this world, a beautiful baby girl. She came as a surprise to us and now we're juggling two under two. After she was born in July, I found myself in survival mode. I just made it through the motions day by day and tried navigating life with a one-year-old and a newborn. Something I don't think anyone tells you about having a second baby is the horrible guilt you feel about having another baby and how you'll manage to give enough love and attention to both your children. The funny thing is though, at least for me, it disappeared as soon as I brought her home. My son, even at his young age, lit right up for her and now I couldn't imagine life without either one of them. It's like your heart doubles in size the second you see their face and you wonder how you could ever have worried about loving them enough.

Now I won't lie, the two under two gig isn't easy. I mean I only have two arms, so carrying them both around doesn't leave much room for anything else. The first few months I was in the trenches, somedays with nothing left to give. I know mothers juggle two plus children all the time, but can we stop downplaying how difficult this phase of motherhood is? I have recently been feeling more like my old self as my children get older and more independent. I have lately been grateful that they are so close in age, which is something I never thought I'd say, as they are starting to play with and entertain each other well. I've made it my goal this year to carve out more time for myself and focus on my own mental and physical health. I know I can't be a good mother to my children if I'm not good to myself too. I'm finally feeling like I see the light at the end of the tunnel and that I'm coming out of the darkness. If you're a mother struggling, no matter what phase of motherhood you are in, just know you're not alone and the sun will come up again. Hang in there Heifers.

/SCS/